Easter

My #2 daughter and I went to lunch on Sunday. We get together quite often since we are the “without partners” in the family. She was somewhat upset. When I asked her what was wrong she told me the following story. I need to tell you also that she considers herself a Christian, although she is anti-religion. She does not go to church but she believes in God and prays.

“ I called #3 (her sister) this morning to wish her a Happy Easter. I then asked her what kind of plans they had for Easter. She said that it is General Conference Weekend so they weren’t even going to church. I was shocked! She is so religious and so into her LDS church, why was she sitting out the most important holiday of Christianity?”

I knew this about the Mormons but I think my #2 is just beginning to realize how strange they are.

“I asked her why there was not a special service at church. Then she told me that Mormons celebrate the life of Jesus and not the death. Mom, she said, isn’t Easter all about His life? The fact that he rose from the grave as promised by God?”

I am no expert certainly, but I do remember when I was a Christian, Easter was the most important holiday at church. Even my parents who rarely went to church, made sure we were all dressed and in the pews on Easter Sunday.

My #2 doesn’t understand the Mormons but this was incredibly hurtful to her. She thought her sister was a good Christian. She told me that there is no way she could be Christian and not celebrate the resurrection of the Son of God.

The Nature of God or Gods

I've been reading Mormon Coffee again and it occured to me that the argument going on is over the top.

You have the Mormons and the Christians debating the nature of god and whether or not men can become gods. On one side the belief is that mankind is created in his image...maybe both sides...but then they part company. The Christians rant that no one can be a god except god. The Mormons say they can be "like god" but seem to stop short, at least in public, of saying they will be gods.

Did they ever stop to think about how incredible, and I mean unbelievable, the entire idea of god is? Do they not understand how non-believers look and listen to their stories and marvel that intelligent, educated people can believe such malarky?

I truly hope, as I have been told, that we are closer to being a secular nation. It's about time!

Idols

I have been reading an exchange on Mormon Coffee about the lightening strike on the temple adornment called Moroni. What I find interesting is that the non mormons are accusing the mormons of idol worship and then the mormons are saying what about the cross?

What strikes me is that they are both completely blind to how they sound to reasonable people.

Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Afterlife or NO?

Polygamy and Mormonism are historically connected and I as I am learning, in the future of every believing Mormon. I asked my Mormon daughter what she thought about the fact that her husband would have several wives in celestial heaven. Her response suprised me! She said I don't care about that 'cause I'll be dead!

So my thought is this...she doesn't believe in the afterlife. How could she and not care? According to her belief she must baptize me and all the family so we will all be together in heaven but she doesn't care if her husband suddenly acquires his own little harem.

Well, maybe there is hope for her after all.

The Perfect Woman

The LDS Conference, which took place in October, escaped my attention because of recent changes in my life and circumstances, however Julie Beck's .Mothers Who Know talk deserves some comment from me.

As many of you know, my daughter married a mormon a few years ago. I watch her struggle with the expectations of this very demanding organization. Recently, I noted a change in her behavior: she started cooking again! She has been the queen of fast food but suddenly (around October) she became more domesticated. I wondered about the change but now I understand.

I read Beck's talk and some of the comments about it. This one puts it into perspective for me...I wish my daughter would read it.

"Mothers who know are nurturers. ... Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house."

And this comment:

I can’t get this Julie Beck thing off my mind now so I keep logging in to RFM and reading those threads when I’ve got a shitload of work piled on my desk.

But it’s exactly that (work) that keeps me thinking of that stupid talk. I’m sitting here surrounded by working women. OK, from my office I can hear people in 5 offices—all of them just happen to be women. All of them have incredible families. One is childless by choice, one is a mother and grandmother, but has been in a happy lesbian relationship for a number of years. Three are married and have school-aged children. Four of them are corporate attorneys (also, it’s a Fortune 100 company), two are also managing directors. One is a senior paralegal. I am the lone former “Mother Who Knew.”

I DEFY any mormon woman to match their families, their relationships and their children up against any of these women. Yes, they make hard CHOICES. They are all very well paid. They have to decide what they can delegate to paid help (e.g., a nanny who picks up the kids from school and gets them started on their homework, a housekeeper who does the bulk of the major cleaning, a gardner, etc.) and what they feel is important to their family for them to not delegate (making dinner, attending soccer games, church and school activities, planning and taking fun family trips). They have marriages or relationships that I can only dream of. Where my temple-married husband got bored with Molly Mormon who “knew,” but was burnt out and uninteresting, their husbands see them as fun, interesting and someone they’d better stay in line for. Where my children were lucky to be able to take a trip to the desert to see their grandparents with their cash-strapped mother who “knew,” theirs are taking trips to Europe and Prague and China that they all planned together as a family. Where my children were “contributing” to the world by being forced by their mother who “knew” to get up too early for Seminary and hating it, theirs are working on Habitat for Humanity and the food bank and things that actually make a difference.

Where their children who are grown treat them like treasures, call them regularly, respect them, my children can barely stomach the fact that they had a mother who was so stupid and made such stupid decisions (somehow they were all able to figure it out for themselves). And I have no answers for my daughters who married too young because I let them stay in the brainwashing cult long past when I really believed, but I was too insecure to get out and face motherhood in the real world. My one child who respects me is the youngest—the one who was there when I made the transition out of TSCC, went back to college in my 40s and finally got a respectiable career.

I also have some friends who are happy stay-at-home moms. One even home schools her kids. But they don’t have so many kids that they don’t have time for themselves also. Their husbands have good enough jobs that they truly can afford to make that decision and it isn’t forced on them because the meger income they could make would barely pay for child care. And then I have friends who are childless by choice. Most of them are better parents to their dogs than I probably was to my kids when I was strung out on Paxil. They deal with zero guilt or ridicule over their decisions to be childless.

So Ms. Beck, all I have to say to you is Shut the F*** Up! How DARE you heap more guilt, more ridicule, and more despair and dejection on women you don’t even know—women who are just trying their best as it is to be a perfect member of your mindf***ing cult!

And yet another:

The Church relies on cliches, mindless obedience (aka faith),guilt, meaningless ceremonies, hierarchies, and all sorts of really complicated and convoluted doctrines and promises and ceremonies in order to teach what they claim to be "plain and simple" truth.

.... truth is really simple and self-evident. It doesn't take a genius to see that ... strong women in her office were living fulfilling lives which are the result of making right logical decisions.

Living a fulfilling life has NOTHING to do with weird ceremonies, faith, or magic. A fulfilling life comes from working to reach one's potential, to love and be loved by those you care about. The truth is simple and brilliant.

There is NO TRUTH in the MORG. It just uses convoluted explanations, demands of faith and obedience as a smokescreen for teachings that really don't make any sense.

It is true that we make our own decisions and should be responsible for them but it is also irrefutable that one's religion plays a large part in influencing these choices particularly when the religion is as intrusive and all encompassing as Mormonism. After all, what other religioni dictates what type of underwear you can wear, how you can have sex, who can or cannot attend your wedding, how many earrings you can have, and how much facial hair men can have.

I can credit the MORG for encouraging me to get married early, pump out a bunch of kids, and to send my sons to the lame scout programs organized by the Church out of guilt.

I immediately regained at least 14% of my time after I quit the MORG and also recouped quite a bit of income (even though I wasn't paying 10% before I quit I did lose the occasional several thousand that I paid out of guilt when tithing settlement got close)

I encourage everyone who is doubting to get out and really "investigate" the Church. Find out the truth and then have the guts to make the choice that their findings lead them to.
Source


Another well written article on this subject can be found at More on Mothers

Men of the Cloth

I recently read a book by Susan Ray Schmidt His Favorite Wife. My interest in the mormon church and its history, continues to be one of MY favorite things. As I finished the book I was left wanting more so off on a search to find something I have not read.

I found an article on About.com that reviews a book by Martha Beck who is the daughter of Dr. Hugh Nibley, professor emeritus of ancient scripture at Brigham Young University and "arguably the leading living authority on Mormon teaching." She is also the author of a new book where she reveals being sexually abused by her father and explains why she left Mormonism.

Although the article was posted in 2005 it seems timely today. With the rise in reported molesting by "men of the cloth" I become more frustrated by religion every day. What is it about these men that makes them such a despicable, evil characters? Is it religion and the belief that they are working for god?

If so I am certainly glad god is imaginary.

To Believe or Not to Believe

Some time ago I was in a conversation with an evangelical concerning whether or not we could choose to believe. My argument was and is that we do not choose to believe or not to believe.

1. I find “belief” to be a lot like “love” (i.e. love for one’s spouse). Something magical and ineffable draws us to an idea (or another person). But some effort is usually required to make that attraction last. Love requires one to continually expend emotional, physical, intellectual, etc. effort in one direction (i.e. toward one’s spouse); and at the same time one willingly withholds or does not expend such efforts in the direction of others. http://theculturalhall.com/?p=157

As I read this post it started me thinking again. My mother always told me that we cannot choose how we feel or with whom we fall in love. But she also said that we can choose where we go and with whom we associate. In that way we do choose to a certain extent for where we go determines who we meet and we can only fall in love with one we meet.

Now, how does this relate to belief? Lately I have read many posts and responses about persons who have begun to question their belief, often in Mormonism but also in the existence of god. Something that really stands out is the number of people who say, “ choose to believe because…” and they have a multitude of reasons:
· It makes my family happy
· It is easier at work
· Everyone else is doing it (going to church)

So, I don’t know…can one choose to believe? Or do they just go along to get along?

Baptism for the Dead

I am not ready to die, but then who is? Lately I have had a lot of medical problems and it has brought to the forefront that I am mortal! One day, maybe sooner than I think, I will die. I don't think I am so concerned about dying because, after all I have had a very good life. I have some wonderful children with whom I believe the world is in good hands, almost.

My daughter is smart and beautiful and truly works at being a good person; she is Mormon. Therein lies the problem. I'm not and I don't want to be Mormon, even after I die. I feel sure she plans to baptize me as soon as my ashes are cool. Why should I care? I'm not sure but I do. I remember all the Holocaust victims whose families were devastated because the Mormons were adding them to Mormons roles right and left. What right did the church have to do such a thing? I feel that if she is allowed to baptize me that somehow puts me in agreement with her; a position I would never assume in life. I am an atheist and I am comfortable with so being.

How do I tell her that I forbid it?

God vs God or Truth vs Truth

"The true value of a man is not determined by his possession, supposed or real, of Truth, but rather by his sincere exertion to get to the Truth. It is not possession of the Truth, but rather the pursuit of Truth by which he extends his powers and in which his ever-growing perfectibility is to be found. Possession makes one passive, indolent, and proud. If God were to hold all Truth concealed in his right hand, and in his left only the steady and diligent drive for Truth, albeit with the proviso that I would always and forever err i n the process, and to offer me the choice, i would with all humility take the left hand."
--Gotthold Lessing, Anti-Goeze(1778)

I have, for sometime now, been a daily reader and sometime commenter on Mormon Coffee. My daughter became Mormon a few years ago and it has disturbed me greatly; thus the search for understanding.

I have come to the conclusion that the evangelicals have a very mean and vindictive god while the Mormons see a god as almost an aside to their religion. Both camps make very interesting arguments but neither is convincing; I'm still an atheist for like Lessing I would still chose the left hand.