Fairness

Life is not fair; get used to it. – Bill Gates

Perhaps it is truth that life is not fair. I have been thinking about that a lot lately because my family has faced a lot of “unfairness”.

But is it?

What is fair?

Definitions of fair on the Web:

•free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception; conforming with established standards or rules; "a fair referee"; "fair deal"; "on a fair footing"; "a fair fight"; "by fair means or foul"


•not excessive or extreme; "a fairish income"; "reasonable prices"

•bonny: very pleasing to the eye; "my bonny lass"; "there's a bonny bay beyond"; "a comely face"; "young fair maidens"

•(of a baseball) hit between the foul lines; "he hit a fair ball over the third base bag"

•average: lacking exceptional quality or ability; "a novel of average merit"; "only a fair performance of the sonata"; "in fair health"; "the caliber of the students has gone from mediocre to above average"; "the performance was middling at best"

•fair(a): attractively feminine; "the fair sex"

•carnival: a traveling show; having sideshows and rides and games of skill etc.

•clean: (of a manuscript) having few alterations or corrections; "fair copy"; "a clean manuscript"

•gathering of producers to promote business; "world fair"; "trade fair"; "book fair"

•honest: gained or earned without cheating or stealing; "an honest wage"; "an fair penny"

•fairly: in conformity with the rules or laws and without fraud or cheating; "they played fairly"

•a competitive exhibition of farm products; "she won a blue ribbon for her baking at the county fair"

•free of clouds or rain; "today will be fair and warm"

•join so that the external surfaces blend smoothly

•fairly: without favoring one party, in a fair evenhanded manner; "deal fairly with one another"
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

So let’s look at some of these from my perspective:

• free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception; conforming with established standards or rules; "a fair referee"; "fair deal"; "on a fair footing"; "a fair fight"; "by fair means or foul"

No favoritism here. Cancer has stricken several in my family including my youngest daughter. Self-interest; of whom? No rule book for life and no referees.

• not excessive or extreme; "a fairish income"; "reasonable prices"

Is it excessive that I have lost 5 siblings to cancer and that it has now attacked my daughter?

• fairly: in conformity with the rules or laws and without fraud or cheating; "they played fairly"

How does one cheat when there are no rules?

• fairly: without favoring one party, in a fair evenhanded manner; "deal fairly with one another"

So I suppose if this one applies the 2 siblings and 3 children I have may be “dealt with” fairly.

However, lest I sound morbid, which is not my intention, I go in another direction.

My beautiful daughter is a special person. She is facing a difficult time in her young life and she is facing it with humor and grace. So I am not bitter about this. She has a strong faith and she feels that her faith will sustain her. I admire her as she faces each day with courage and strength. She has God on her side (she believes). But….

I don’t understand the strength she gets from prayer but I will not deny that she has it. She credits her god with all the good things in her life but never blames him for the pain and suffering. I don’t get it but I don’t have to.
She is an amazing person and I only see her strength and her courage: maybe there is something supernatural about that!!