Life is not fair; get used to it. – Bill Gates
Perhaps it is truth that life is not fair. I have been thinking about that a lot lately because my family has faced a lot of “unfairness”.
But is it?
What is fair?
Definitions of fair on the Web:
•free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception; conforming with established standards or rules; "a fair referee"; "fair deal"; "on a fair footing"; "a fair fight"; "by fair means or foul"
•not excessive or extreme; "a fairish income"; "reasonable prices"
•bonny: very pleasing to the eye; "my bonny lass"; "there's a bonny bay beyond"; "a comely face"; "young fair maidens"
•(of a baseball) hit between the foul lines; "he hit a fair ball over the third base bag"
•average: lacking exceptional quality or ability; "a novel of average merit"; "only a fair performance of the sonata"; "in fair health"; "the caliber of the students has gone from mediocre to above average"; "the performance was middling at best"
•fair(a): attractively feminine; "the fair sex"
•carnival: a traveling show; having sideshows and rides and games of skill etc.
•clean: (of a manuscript) having few alterations or corrections; "fair copy"; "a clean manuscript"
•gathering of producers to promote business; "world fair"; "trade fair"; "book fair"
•honest: gained or earned without cheating or stealing; "an honest wage"; "an fair penny"
•fairly: in conformity with the rules or laws and without fraud or cheating; "they played fairly"
•a competitive exhibition of farm products; "she won a blue ribbon for her baking at the county fair"
•free of clouds or rain; "today will be fair and warm"
•join so that the external surfaces blend smoothly
•fairly: without favoring one party, in a fair evenhanded manner; "deal fairly with one another"
So let’s look at some of these from my perspective:
• free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception; conforming with established standards or rules; "a fair referee"; "fair deal"; "on a fair footing"; "a fair fight"; "by fair means or foul"
No favoritism here. Cancer has stricken several in my family including my youngest daughter. Self-interest; of whom? No rule book for life and no referees.
• not excessive or extreme; "a fairish income"; "reasonable prices"
Is it excessive that I have lost 5 siblings to cancer and that it has now attacked my daughter?
• fairly: in conformity with the rules or laws and without fraud or cheating; "they played fairly"
How does one cheat when there are no rules?
• fairly: without favoring one party, in a fair evenhanded manner; "deal fairly with one another"
So I suppose if this one applies the 2 siblings and 3 children I have may be “dealt with” fairly.
However, lest I sound morbid, which is not my intention, I go in another direction.
My beautiful daughter is a special person. She is facing a difficult time in her young life and she is facing it with humor and grace. So I am not bitter about this. She has a strong faith and she feels that her faith will sustain her. I admire her as she faces each day with courage and strength. She has God on her side (she believes). But….
I don’t understand the strength she gets from prayer but I will not deny that she has it. She credits her god with all the good things in her life but never blames him for the pain and suffering. I don’t get it but I don’t have to.
She is an amazing person and I only see her strength and her courage: maybe there is something supernatural about that!!