I had an early morning conversation with a close friend this morning and the subject of closure came up. We discussed several events in our lives where closure occurred in strange or unexpected ways.
My friend related her experience in a recent broken relationship. She said she had needed closure and that it came in the form of a terse email with a subtle reference to a new partner. She stated that at that moment she accepted the fact that the relationship was over.
I think the term is overused and overrated. Is there one defining moment when something becomes less painful? Perhaps, but I don't think so. Time is the healer of all wounds, as the saying goes. In the case of my friend as is true in my own experience, time passed, That moment was the culmination of many other moments, hours, days and weeks of suffering the pain and realizing that it was a permanent end to the relationship.
I do think we need closure, but in the sense of time rather than an event. An event may be the point at which one realizes that closure has happened but I doubt that one event makes it possible to store away the pain and move on in one's life.